Lemony Snicket reviews my book in New York Times!

My newest book, Twelve Terrible Things, has had some pretty good reviews.


Here's what The Denver Post said:

"The Lemony Snicket-esque introduction advises the reader not to turn the page, which is how many of us anticipate feeling the day after Tuesday's election. No candidates hide inside these pages, but there are one or two Terrible Things that could be even worse.

Kelley's looming dentist says, "Say AHHH," instead of the truly chilling "You might feel some discomfort."

But the birthday clown? Pure evil. So are the elderly lady's manicured fingernails lunging toward the reader ("Oh my goodness, just look at those CHEEKS."


Cool. But did you notice that line about it being Lemony Snicket-esque?

Well, it just so happens that today's New York Times book review contains a review of my book by none other than Mr. Snicket himself:



School Library Journal gave it a starred review:
Here's a good one from Kirkus Reviews:


“I'm warning you. If you turn the page, you are going to see some terrible things.” No exaggeration there. Twelve childhood fears, anxieties and worries are rendered in hugely realistic two-page spreads. The book begins with readers looking down at a delicious double-scoop of ice cream lying heartbreakingly on the ground; they’ll experience each horrible happening firsthand, from the dizzying view from the edge of a diving board to a friend’s smelly sock thrust in their faces. The 12 everyday bad things are delightfully exaggerated: When Grandma reaches for “those cheeks,” she looks positively predatory. After the 12th terrible thing occurs, readers find themselves in an ice-cream store reaching for a double-scoop cone, and the cycle begins again. This is essentially Gary Greenberg’s Pop-Up Book of Phobias (1999) but with a wonderful sense of how kids sometimes feel the world treats them. Expect this book to be a hit with not just younger children but their older teenage siblings as well. Turns the terrible into the terrific.

Another favorite came from Three Silly Chicks.

Sometimes authors and illustrators sneak up on us. It's not nice, really. They tend to be so big and wear pointy shoes. Little chicks like us don't stand a chance. And yet, it happens all the time. Most recently, it happened with author/illustrator Marty Kelley. Somehow, we had not noticed this funny guy sneaking up behind us with all his funny books and then BAM! He pops out his latest title, TWELVE TERRIBLE THINGS and gets us smack on our feathery heads.

We loved this funny book which relies almost entirely on illustrations to deliver its punch. Try to think of the most mortifying things you tried to avoid in your childhood and you're sure to come up with at least one of scenes from TWELVE TERRIBLE THINGS. From the terrifying great-aunt out to pinch your cheeks to the view from atop the high dive, they are all here.


Our personal favorite is the clown scene. Frequent readers of our interviews will understand why.



Like this spread, some of these jokes might zoom past very young readers (and that might be a good thing), but 2nd and 3rd graders will snort with laughter.

They even interviewed me. Check out the entire thing here.



I can keep going. Want to read more?

Here's one from For Immediate Release Reviews:

Have you ever picked up one of those books where the cover is terrific and the inside is just blah? This is a book that lives up to that promise and delivers the goods. Two surprises await you inside: 1) the best illustrations weren't used for the cover and 2) author Marty Kelley is FUNNY.

Crack this open to discover the twelve worst things that can happen to a kid. Like Great-Aunt Eunice and her claws of death (photo above). Your head after believing in your sister's ability to produce a good haircut. Lunch Lady Doris and her need to encapsulate all foods in gravy. Plus nine more.

The text is intentionally sparse, allowing the marvelous illustrations to speak for themselves. Rendered in watercolor, each terrible thing spans two over sized pages; these alone make this book worth acquiring. Pair these extraordinary illustrations with the author's sarcastic wit and you have an unbeatable combination. Pile on some childhood trauma and you have one heck of an excellent children's book.

Side note: My four year old held his foot up to our neighbor and said "Smell THIS, doofus." Thanks, Marty!

From A Patchwork of Books:

"...The true gem within this book are the amazing illustrations. They are done so well, they almost look as if they are photographs jumping off the page. My favorite page is that of the dentist reaching into the patient's mouth...he really looks like he's coming for you! I was in awe by the realistic nature of Kelley's drawings.

Kids will laugh all the way through Twelve Terrible Things and none of the experiences listed are so terrible as to not be shared with the little ones. Though I will admit, if you're not scared of clowns before reading this, you just may be afterwards!"

Okay. Just one more. This one is from the Provo City Library:

As a child, did you ever drop your ice cream cone on the ground, before you even got to have a lick? Wasn't it tragic! Were you ever the "new kid" at school? How horrible were all those eyes on you when you walked into the classroom for the first time? Did you ever take swimming lessons? That diving board was waaaaaaaaaay to high to ever jump off of! And horror of horrors, "Great-Aunt Matilda" coming at you to pinch your cheeks! Don't even mention The Dentist, we just won't go there! These are just a few of the Twelve Terrible Things that Marty Kelley shows us. The minimal text is effective in conveying the message of what is "terrible" to a young child. It is the illustrations, however, that make this my new favorite picture book. Kelley's watercolors portray exactly what a child would see in each event. The details are great. For example, look at "Great-Aunt Matilda's" chin and in the road trip picture each family member has great facial expression. A must-read for everyone. Adults will most likely be more entertained than children just because it will dredge up some childhood memories for them.


Wow. Is all that super cool, or what?
You know what I noticed? Many of the reviewers who mentioned the old lady pinching cheeks gave her a name. I think you should name this old lady. Leave a comment and tell me what her name is.

It was a really fun book to work on. I recommend that everyone run out and buy it in bulk.

Right now.

Thanks!