Albert's ABSOLUTELY Amazing Launch Party

It took me almost 12 years to complete my most recent picture book, Albert's Almost Amazing Adventure. Planning the launch party for that same book seemed like it took twice that amount of time and at least ten times the effort.

I'm not much of one for party planning. I never have been. My idea of planning a party usually goes something like this:

1. I should have a party.

And that's really about it. I invite people to the party and hope for the best.

Do I have any napkins? No. You have a sleeve, right?
A fork? What's wrong with your fingers?
A cool, refreshing beverage? The sink is over there.
Something to eat? I think there are some dried up raisins in the cupboard over there. Help yourself.

This worked adequately well while I was in college and expectations were generally low. As an adult, however, it seems that people expect more when you invite them to a party. That's why I'm so lucky that my wife, Kerri is a wonderful party planner who considers things like "what other people might want".

When Islandport Press (who published the book) suggested that I host a launch party, I thought, "Okay. I think there's a half a bag of BBQ-flavored chips in the cupboard and I can probably dig out an old packet of Kool Aid."

I found out rather quickly that they had other ideas of what a launch party might entail. A launch party is, essentially,  a way to gather a large group of people together in the hope that they will buy many copies of your new book. I was advised, by every single person I spoke with, that lushing people up with stale BBQ chips and watered down grape Kool Aid was not going to cut it.

The publisher and my wife immediately swooped into action to save me from myself.

First, the publisher sent a bunch of goofy, book-themed props that we could use to make a photo booth.

Welcome to my party. Please stick your head in a shark's mouth.

A wide variety of ghastly props for use in the photo-booth.

Then Islandport Press changed the game by whispering to me that they provide "a budget" to help pay for launch parties.

My "Free Jet-Packs for Everybody While We Party On A Cruise Ship To Hawaii" party theme idea was quickly squashed.

"Perhaps we should discuss what we meant by 'a budget'," the publisher said.

With a somewhat altered view of what may be possible, I set out to make the most wonderful party I could imagine. And my wife and kids and the people at Islandport set out to make sure that it actually WAS wonderful.

I sought help from author friends who had hosted many successful launch parties. By stealing their brilliant ideas, I was able to save myself from many hours of unpleasant thinking and planning.

I made activity sheets and bought some crayons and pencils because, as my pal, Julie Falatko explained, "Nothing says 'party" like an activity sheet."

I bought tickets so I could raffle off an original piece of art. These would prove to be a problem later.

I hand-carved a bunch of rubber stamps featuring events from the book.

I made postcards where people could collect the stamps.

I bought 11 billion pipe cleaners so people could make their very own Albert glasses.

And Islandport Press sent me a bunch of really cool bookmarks to hand out.

My first act in planning the party was to send up a Steve Signal™. I got in touch with my good friends (and musicians extraordinaire) Steve Blunt,  Joe Pierog, and Noelle Boc to see if THE BAND could play at the party. Sadly, Noelle could not make it, but the rest of THE BAND would be there. 

I contacted the PTA at the local elementary school and asked if they would like to handle book sales at the party. I offered to donate all the profits to the school's PTA. They very kindly agreed to help out and Heidi Morgan, the president of the PTA was terrific.

I contacted the wonderful folks at The Whipple Free Library in New Boston and asked about using the Community Room to host the party. They agreed, as long as I brought back that overdue book I had out.

I also contacted... Miss Sam. Miss Sam is currently the readiness teacher at the local elementary school. She's also a wonderful human being. I roped her into having her entire class perform a dramatic interpretation of my book.

Things were rolling.

As the day of the party drew ever nearer, Kerri kept giving me helpful suggestions of things I might want to do.

Buy some food for the party.
Buy more food for the party, you cheapskate.
No, you can't feed a bunch of kids leftover rabbit food from the shed.
What is wrong with you? A single serving packet of Goldfish crackers? I'm going shopping.

Thankfully, Kerri did a masterful job of thwarting my every avoidance and we wound up with a lovely, well thought out spread.

Tori and I spent a lot of time decorating cookies that Kerri baked.

Lots of cookies.

Tori will be thrilled that I am sharing this picture of her. I love you, honey!

Albert!

Albert!

 The day of the party arrived and, armed with cookies, food, snacks, photo-booth accessories, activity sheets, and some wonderful helpers, we partied hard.

We spent most the early afternoon setting up the room and hoping that somebody would come.

Amazing A/V Spectaular? Check.

Amazing Art Raffle? Check.

Amazing Photo Booth? Check.

Amazing Arts and Crafts? Check.

Amazing mom, ready to paint some faces? Check.

We needn't have worried about people coming. They came. And came, and came, and came. It was awesome!

My Amazing high school helpers, Lexi, Molly, and Kayley helped with crowd control.

Tori acted as the door bouncer. She was handing out raffle tickets at the door. She found out fast that she needed to explain that the tickets were free, otherwise people turned and tried to flee.

Lexi sported some high fashion Albert Glasses.

My mom and Molly painted a LOT of faces.

Because there were a LOT of people there.

A LOT of people.

We started out with Miss Sam's Readiness class performing a dramatic interpretation of my book. That's Miss Sam, sneaking up behind me.

The kids...

were...

SO...

AMAZING!!!

I can't even express how flattered and thrilled I was with the incredible job that Miss Sam and her class did in performing the book.  They were a very tough act to follow, but I gave a brief presentation on how I created the book after their stellar performance.

"Hey. Guy! Get off the stage! Bring the kids back!"

There was a brief time after my presentation where I signed a lot of books and talked with a lot of friends who showed up at the party.
 

Chris looks good in anything, but REALLY rocks those Albert glasses!

I met a lot of new friends signing books.

And got to see some old friends, too.

Hugs all around!

My friend, the very talented author/illustrator Lisa showed up with her son, Jack.

My high school pal Elizabeth came!

Jen and Laura, two of the greatest librarians in the world showed up to party. Librarians know how to party, y'all.

Another illustrator friend! Paul came all the way from Massachusetts!

After a whirlwind meet and greet, it was back on stage for the big music show.

I cajoled Tori into joining us for 1 song. She may, eventually, forgive me some day.

There was dancing.

There was a Toddler Mosh Pit.

The view from the stage.

Another view from the stage. Look at all the friends who came!

 After the music, there was a little more time for chatting and signing books and then... it was over.

I cannot thank you all enough. To the friends and family who helped to make this such an amazing time, I humbly and sincerely thank you. To everyone who came to enjoy the day with us, I thank you. I wish I could have spent more time visiting with everyone.

We'll have to do this again. I still have a half a single-serving package of Goldfish crackers left over.

Who's in?

Some Terrifying Lulu Action

You long time, hard-core Marty Kelley groupies out there–and I'm sure there are millions of you–may remember that for quite some time on my real website (not this fake Marty Kelley knock-off site you are looking at now), there was a picture of a Marty Kelley scarecrow displayed for some time.

Before I continue, I'd like to point out that I have managed to use my first and last names three separate times in the first sentence of this posting. That may be a new record.

Anyhow, librarian Sue Demanche was the evil mastermind behind the Marty Kelley (4!) scarecrow and now she has outdone herself, creating a horrifyingly realistic, life-sized statue of such osculating audacity that it must be named...

Auntie Lulu.

The mascot to my website (Click here if you missed the last link...) has brought terror to the hearts of thousands of visitors to my website (there's another chance...) beckoning them in and daring them to kiss her mustachioed candy-colored lips of doom.

Now Sue has taken this digital threat and brought it to life. The life sized Auntie Lulu doll was posed outside the doors to her library like a sleepless sentry in need of a kiss. Along with her dimpled arms and 250% polyester dress, Auntie Lulu came complete with pinned on wax lips that demanded kissing. Those oh-so-kissable lips also had a tendency to fall off at random times throughout the day, adding carpet lint to her lips for some exciting tactile textures during that kiss.

I begged and cried and whimpered in a very manly way, but there was no escape. I was forced to kiss Auntie Lulu.

It was actually far less pleasant than you may have expected.

Sue's attention to detail was stunning. In this picture, you have a clear view of the extremely fashionable Mr. PotatoHead earrings that she used to compliment Auntie Lulu's dress and really bring out the green in her eyes.

After I recovered from the shock and horror of meeting–and kissing–Auntie Lulu (actually, I don't think I'll ever fully recover) Sue was kind enough to let me rinse my mouth out with the rice crispy treats and fruit that she brought for breakfast. It was quite possibly the most perfect breakfast I have ever eaten.

Sue also has a real, genuine, honest-to-goodness rowboat in her library.

You will notice that Auntie Lulu is NOT in the rowboat. But, you never know where she might turn up next.
Hey.
What's that behind you?
With the Mr. PotatoHead earrings?

LOOK OUT!!!

Holiday Cheer With Steve

I have mentioned in the past, the thrilling musical shows that I do with my buddy, Steve Blunt. I have also spoken warmly of Steve's whimsical habit of varying the set list mid performance. Typically, he will casually sidle up to me between songs and whisper, "I have a great idea for a song to do here. You don't know it, but just follow along. You'll get it. No problem."

This habit of his keeps my toes curled with excitement.

And by excitement, I mean soul blistering panic.

We were hired to do a show of holiday songs at the public library in Fremont, NH last night. Steve decided to eclipse all our previous efforts at glittery musical extravagance. We scheduled a rehearsal for Wednesday at Steve's house, but the 14 inches of snow we got that day made unnecessary travel something to be avoided.

Personally, I did not find traveling for rehearsal unnecessary, but Steve is a big-time, hot-shot musician who laughs in the face of musical challenge. The musical challenge in this case, is me.

So yesterday morning, mere hours before our grand holiday gala, Steve emailed me a set list comprised exclusively of songs I have never played before.
Reading the list filled me with with a warm glow of gut-wrenching holiday horror.  When dressing for the performance, I selected stain fighting clothes specifically for the inevitable barrage of tomatoes that the audience would no doubt be armed with.

We arrived at the library early and took our time setting up so that we were left with 20 minutes for a leisurely rehearsal through 60 minutes of music I had never played, including one song on a musical instrument called "BoomWhackers". They are loads of fun and produce a delightful musical tone when you strike Steve over the head with them. The problem with the BoomWhacker song was that it required Steve and me to play actual notes together, as part of the same composition. He also decided it would add to the excitement to invite a kid from the audience to play part of the song, too.

I thought that was a brilliant idea, because when I messed up, I could blame it on the kid. Sadly, as it turned out, the kid he picked was great and left me no opportunity for blaming my mistakes on her.

We practiced as diligently as we could for 20 minutes, then opened the floodgates and let in the crowd. As they settled into their seats, we regaled them with stirring renditions of "Deck the Halls" and "Chorus of the Bells" played on jaw-harps. Really, nothing says "Merry Christmas" like two guys drooling through their jaw harps.

We then went right into Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with me wailing away on my harmonica.
Occasionally, things go wrong in performances. I think that is actually why so many people enjoy live music. There is always the very real possibility that something will go dreadfully wrong.

Being a drummer, I am woefully ignorant about music in general.  "Me hit things." about sums up my musical aptitude. By the time we were a few measures into Rudolph, even my drum-damaged, musically impared ear could tell that something was very, very wrong.

Steve stopped playing and laughed a merry "Ho Ho Ho!" He looked over at me and I crouched to make a smaller target for the inevitable barrage of tomatoes. "I'm in the wrong key!" Steve laughed.
"Ha Ha Ha!" I laughed, wondering what the heck a key is.

I know, in theory, that songs come in different keys. I also know that when the instruments are not in the same key, they sound awful. Even worse than Hannah Montana or The Jonas Brothers.

Seriously.

So Steve made the adjustments he needed to make and we carried on. The audience was wonderfully enthusiastic and we wound up having a great time. I think the audience did, too, as I didn't get hit with a single tomato.