Day 17 - Aliens, Rattlesnakes, and The Taste of Despair.

Day 17
Moriarty, NM - Roswell, NM - Elk City, OK
Miles Driven - 524
View From Hotel - Rib Crib Restaurant

As we piled into Towanda this morning, I tried something.

I pushed the "Go Home" button on the GPS.

This is what I got:

It was a little depressing for some reason.

We stayed in a small family-owned motel last night. It was bright and cheery, if dated.

Sunny and yellow, just like the rest of New Mexico.

There was a nice little sitting area, complete with a grill,  just off the parking lot.

If you are lonely while staying there, they supply "Comfort Bugs" in the parking lot. 

And rubber duckies for your bath!

Wood paneled excellence.

We stopped to get gas here in "Mericuh.

A lot of our ride through the southwest was along historic Route 66, which now seems to be a place where you never have to drive more than 30 yards to be reminded that you are actually on Historic Route 66.

 Roswell, NM is not really on our route home. It took us about 3 hours out of our way, but it seemed like it might be fun.

At least there was a lot to look at on the drive. 

As we made our way toward Roswell, it looked like trouble along the horizon.

A shootout at the OK Corral!

A very strange and alarming sculpture that was installed along the highway.

Let's get a picture in front of the dying guy!

We did make a slight error in daring to stop at one of the New Mexico rest areas.

No drinking water. In fact, no water at all. The sink has been removed.

Ah HA! There IS drinking water! They're just hiding it here! Joke's on you, New Mexico. I filled my water bottle.

They had a rare and elusive wild Coke machine on display. I was shocked at the tiny cage they kept it in and have written a strongly worded letter to the NM ASPCA.

If you can figure this survey box out, please let me know.

For added visual interest, there was a metal sculpture, flanked by this dud and the the two most annoying, yappy dogs in the universe.

For some reason, the dude and his dogs are not listed as a point of interest.

But they were interesting.

Soon, we arrive in Roswell, a town that has embraced its alien reputation.

We are totally going there!

And maybe there, too!

Aliens were EVERYWHERE.

In the fences.

At gas stations.

No aliens at Lee's Guns for some reason. Lee's conveniently shared a building with a private pre-school. Probably to keep the kids safe in case of an invasion.

My lovely wife did almost all the driving today so I could gawp out the windows.

Unfortunately, I've discovered that looking out the windows yields the same view no matter where in America you are.

There are some slight regional differences in the street lights, however.

And the McDonalds was a bit more saucer-ish than others I have seen.

Books, pastries, gifts. The perfect pairing! 

And for more general use, "UFO & Alien Stuff".

IN case you were wondering what the big headlines in Roswell are.
I'm hoping to get some test burgers for lunch. Don't tell Tori.

The UFO & Alien Museum and Research Center!!!

Alien Selfie!

Howdy, partner. Welcome to Earth!

 The museum and Research Center was simply amazing. It was tacky and awesome in all the best possible ways.

There was plenty of room inside.

And there was a life-sized (almost) recreation of a group of aliens impersonating ABBA.

Real, live drawings of aliens!

And another real, actual drawing!

Proof that aliens are real: An almost life-sized recreation of a scene from an 1950's UFO movie.
Checkmate, skeptics.

Fortunately, there were still a few seats available.
Unfortunately, there didn't appear to be anything to see except this guy.
We decided to check back on these later.

The all-you-can-eat lunch buffet was somewhat disappointing. There were no french fries.

Still nothing happening here, I'm afraid. This guy is very patient, however.

I don't know what this is, but if there is one available in the gift shop, it's mine.

And then, without warning, the aliens came to life and made noises and steam shot out!
It was the single most amazing experience of my life.

This dude was unimpressed, however.

We had to wait in line to get a picture in front of the aliens.

What more proof do you need?

Yet another almost life-sized recreation. This one of a 1950's man in a suit at the all-you-can-eat-buffet.

"Hey! Where are the french fries?"

"Ha, ha, ha!"

The Museum is also home to many, many, many works of art from local students.

This dude was not impressed with the art.

Naturally, we had to exit through the gift shop, as required by international law.
The Museum and Research Center was nearly as diligent as the SPAM Museum in making sure that if their logo could go on it, it would.

Hat, coats, t-shirts, sweatshirts.

Bumper stickers, yard signs, posters.

And a staggering variety of  cheap, plastic crap.

A welcome sign for your yard, complete with Real Alien-Like Gibberish™!

There is also a movie room that shows a constant, ever-changing list of alien-based movies.

Maybe he's waiting for the 12:20 showing of Fire in the Sky.

I don't know about this. What if that "bug" you are swatting is actually an advance alien peace delegation?
thanks, you just started the First Universal Space War.

Alien pocket knives.

Alien thimbles.

Alien compacts and mirrors.

Alien beaded fine jewelery.

Alien spoon holders and ornamental bells.

Alien decorative spoons (to go in the spoon holders, I assume).

Alien guitar picks.

We finally got our chance to get our selfie in front of the aliens. There was no probing, I am happy to report.
Tori was ready to leave 15 minutes before we actually arrived.

This guy was not impressed by our hilarious selfie, either.

This facility is not just an amazing collection of Almost Life-Sized Displays, however. It is also the world's premier research facility for all things alien.
They have a vast, well-organized research library, where you can read about probings all over the world.

Come on in. Have a seat.

More displays of random stuff.

MORE actual real, live drawings!!

And shelf...

...after shelf...

...after shelf...

...after shelf of papers.

Sadly, you are not allowed to go the alleged crash site for fear that you will catch on fire.

We said good-bye to our new best friend and hit the road.

More zany mad-cap alien fun.

Is that the crash site? Ahhhh! I'm on fire!

 Back on the highway, we passed through Portales and kept our eyes peeled for the grouches.

We didn't see them.

We did see the peanut facility.

And the prairie dog facility.

And the next thing we knew, we were in Texas! Yeee Haw!

There was a scenic factory farm along the way.

Mmmmmm. Fresh.

Although this sign did seem to be in slightly poor taste, posted where the cows could see it.

Subliminal Beef Messaging. Does anyone else want a burger?

Pffff. That's not a big cow. We'll SHOW you a big cow.

Texas Selfie!

Random, looming cowboy.

As we drove through many of the small towns, we saw one small taqueria after another. There were dozens and dozens of tiny, brightly colored restaurants, beckoning us in to try their home-made deliciousness.

I feel like I need to add here that I LOATHE chain restaurants. I will go hungry rather than eat at an Applebees or a McDonalds.

My mouth was watering all afternoon with the thought of eating at one of these tiny taquerias.

When we were finally ready for dinner, we found a place that sounded good and put it into the GPS.

It was only 5 miles away!

Tacos, here I come!

During those 5 miles, we saw a sign for Abuelo's Voted Number one Mexican Food in A Reader's Choice Award!

If reader chose it; it MUST be good!

We made a quick change of plans and headed to Abuelo's where all my hopes and dreams were crushed and my happiness was abducted as if by an almost life-sized replica of an alien spaceship.

30 seconds before my hopes and dreams were destroyed.
29... 28... 27...

Boom. I'm in hell.

Seating capacity: 35,000 people.
ipads on each table.
ESPN on 72 TVs mounted everywhere.
Not a Mexican person in the entire building.

The rest of the night was a blur of tears. Kerri drove us on through the night, the lingering taste of resent and sadness and third-rate chain restaurant salsa lingering in my mouth.

Yes, Abuela's is, apparently, a regional chain. Imagine The Cheesecake Factory, but with cumin in every dish.

Let us never speak of Abuela's again.

We drove on through the night, stopping at the world cleanest, yet most dangerous rest area in Texas.

Kerri was NOT amused.

"Maybe the tornado will bow all the rattlesnakes away," I suggested.
"Or maybe it will turn them into venomous projectiles," Kerri answered.

But seriously, rattlesnakes and tornadoes excepted, this is a REALLY clean rest area. It even had sinks with water! Take that, New Mexico.

There was a large waiting area where we were reunited with an old friend.

"See?" I told Kerri, "It doesn't say anything about projectile snakes."

We avoided tornadoes and flying rattlesnakes and eventually made our way to Elk City, OK where we stayed at a big, clean hotel with no rattlesnake warnings anywhere. As I was checking in, I saw a girl dressed in a sequined cowgirl outfit get off the elevator.

"You here for the rodeo tomorrow?" the man behind the desk asked as the girl clinked and sparkled through the lobby an out into the night.

"Nope," I sighed. "We're on our way home."